Friends are so important to our daily lives. They help us make the little things into big things. They listen. They laugh. They cry with us. So, how do you deal when someone close to you becomes gravely ill?
My husband was diagnosed with cancer in the late 80's and it was a devastating blow to us all. Soon our days were filled with doctors, hospitals, medicines and procedures. In short, our lives were not our own.
The everyday mundane things that you and I take for granted go by the wayside during these times. A homecooked meal, flowers, taking out the trash, laundry, etc. No one ever knows what to say or do during these times to help. So I thought I would share some things that were done for me that meant so much.
One Vietnam vet who I had never met rang my doorbell one morning. I just happened to be home for a short time to meet with the insurance man and my husband was in ICU in City of Hope. When I answered the door, he politely told me that he was there to mow the lawn and clean up the yard. I was not to do anything but he just wanted to let me know he was out there. It brought me to tears. I have never met this man but he knew my husband and figured this was a way to help. He was so right.
When people hear that someone is sick, I believe most of them truly want to help in some way, but don't know how. The worst thing for me was when people said,' If you need anything, please let me know.' Or 'Call me if you need anything'.
When you are in that situation, your mind is so full of things that must be done, let alone have time for rest, food or sleep. So those things become so special when someone thinks of them.
During that time I was working three jobs and I was pretty tired. A co-worker from another department called and said she was taking me to lunch. I was pleasantly surprised and when she picked me up she drove me to her home and she had a home cooked meal waiting for me. It was heavenly after all the vending machine and fast food I had been existing on.
Another friend who was working full time stopped by to visit and calmly told me she was staying overnight with me in the trailer where I was temporarily living. It was wonderful not to have to go in there alone, yet again and her presence made me feel so loved. To this day I am not sure she realizes how much that meant.
So, what are some other things you can do for someone in this situation? If you feel you can't make time to visit, you can send a card or note to cheer them. Tuck in a few local fast food gift certificates for those meals on the go. Offer to come by and pick up their car and get it washed. This was a luxury I never had time for.
If the caregiver has time slots where the sick person will be occupied getting a procedure, offer to take them to lunch, or simply go for a walk. If you know they are into crafting, a small craft kit to keep them occupied while they are sitting by the hospital bed is so appreciated. Or, if you don't want to intrude, simply drop off dinner. Put it in a pretty basket with some fresh fruit or homemade treat.
Other things we appreciated: salt and pepper packets or small shakers. Believe it or not, the hospital food often came without these items and food is pretty tasteless without them. They are often impossible to find after hours when the kitchen is closed. A TV guide. Word puzzles or magazines.
For those who will be in the hospital long-term, a pretty afghan or quilt to put around shoulders while in a wheelchair is wonderful and something as simple as colored pillowcases make the room look less hospital-ish. (Note: The caregiver will have to launder these themselves, as hospitals will only launder their own goods). Make sure they are new in the package in case immune systems are low and they are watching out for germs.
All in all, the most important thing is to let the person and the caregiver know that they are not alone; that you will keep them in your prayers and that you wish them good health as they fight the good fight... that's the best gift you could give.
My husband was diagnosed with cancer in the late 80's and it was a devastating blow to us all. Soon our days were filled with doctors, hospitals, medicines and procedures. In short, our lives were not our own.
The everyday mundane things that you and I take for granted go by the wayside during these times. A homecooked meal, flowers, taking out the trash, laundry, etc. No one ever knows what to say or do during these times to help. So I thought I would share some things that were done for me that meant so much.
One Vietnam vet who I had never met rang my doorbell one morning. I just happened to be home for a short time to meet with the insurance man and my husband was in ICU in City of Hope. When I answered the door, he politely told me that he was there to mow the lawn and clean up the yard. I was not to do anything but he just wanted to let me know he was out there. It brought me to tears. I have never met this man but he knew my husband and figured this was a way to help. He was so right.
When people hear that someone is sick, I believe most of them truly want to help in some way, but don't know how. The worst thing for me was when people said,' If you need anything, please let me know.' Or 'Call me if you need anything'.
When you are in that situation, your mind is so full of things that must be done, let alone have time for rest, food or sleep. So those things become so special when someone thinks of them.
During that time I was working three jobs and I was pretty tired. A co-worker from another department called and said she was taking me to lunch. I was pleasantly surprised and when she picked me up she drove me to her home and she had a home cooked meal waiting for me. It was heavenly after all the vending machine and fast food I had been existing on.
Another friend who was working full time stopped by to visit and calmly told me she was staying overnight with me in the trailer where I was temporarily living. It was wonderful not to have to go in there alone, yet again and her presence made me feel so loved. To this day I am not sure she realizes how much that meant.
So, what are some other things you can do for someone in this situation? If you feel you can't make time to visit, you can send a card or note to cheer them. Tuck in a few local fast food gift certificates for those meals on the go. Offer to come by and pick up their car and get it washed. This was a luxury I never had time for.
If the caregiver has time slots where the sick person will be occupied getting a procedure, offer to take them to lunch, or simply go for a walk. If you know they are into crafting, a small craft kit to keep them occupied while they are sitting by the hospital bed is so appreciated. Or, if you don't want to intrude, simply drop off dinner. Put it in a pretty basket with some fresh fruit or homemade treat.
Other things we appreciated: salt and pepper packets or small shakers. Believe it or not, the hospital food often came without these items and food is pretty tasteless without them. They are often impossible to find after hours when the kitchen is closed. A TV guide. Word puzzles or magazines.
For those who will be in the hospital long-term, a pretty afghan or quilt to put around shoulders while in a wheelchair is wonderful and something as simple as colored pillowcases make the room look less hospital-ish. (Note: The caregiver will have to launder these themselves, as hospitals will only launder their own goods). Make sure they are new in the package in case immune systems are low and they are watching out for germs.
All in all, the most important thing is to let the person and the caregiver know that they are not alone; that you will keep them in your prayers and that you wish them good health as they fight the good fight... that's the best gift you could give.
SHARON BLOOM is a multi-award-winning artist, photographer, recycled artist, dedicated caregiver, author and editor of a free family-oriented daily blog called "SHARE OUR GARDEN", which shares beautiful flower photos, inspirations, recipes, garden ideas, recycled art and humor. You can sign up for free at http://shareourgarden.blogspot.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharon_Bloom
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